I no longer look at pictures of me and him and feel anything, I let go of that and it became a thing of the past a long time ago.
But every time I see a picture of us I cringe in pain. I cringe at the idea of us being over and the fact that the past three years no longer mean anything to you.
I cringe thinking about what you’ve done since you left.
I cringe every time I see something that reminds me of you, because of the memories that crowd my thoughts. The beautiful ones that made me smile and feel as though I would never be alone and the new painful ones that remind me that every promise, kiss and “I love you” were a lie.
I cringe at the new found hatred I have developed for you over the past month. The hatred that grows with each day that passes that we don’t speak, because everyday that goes by is another reminder that it truly is over.
Most say that it is a blessing that you walked away, that I will be better off because of it. But, how can I see the light when it is so easily shadowed by the pain and aching hole in my heart that you left in your wake.
You’ve broken me, made me feel worthless, like a waste of time.
While the thoughts of you come and go throughout the day the ache remains the same. Only relieved when I am distracted. The second I am alone with my thoughts you, along with every painful memory and the burning desire to have you in my arms once more returns..
~Happy Reading, Lethal Beauty